volume 1
in visual perception a color is almost never seen as it really is -- as it physically is.
this fact makes color the most relative medium in art.
-- josef albers, interaction of color
summer rut
This has been a strange year for me, for the following reasons (summarized):
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January: I decided to go on an adventure and leave my previously boring life
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February: I started my new exciting life and spent some time in the desert
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March: I started questioning my decisions
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April: I continued questioning my decisions, and went to Spain
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May: I started feeling like an idiot, went to Luxembourg, to Brazil, and then to the desert
In the desert I realized I had invested too much time, money, and energy in an adventure that had no way of ending well. I was missing my family, friends, and the safety of routine. Although everyone who knows me insists on pointing out that I was deeply unhappy in my old life, it became clear to me that the new life is no different, just more lonely.
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June: No longer trusting my decisions, I went to Ireland, then Portugal
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July: Even more jaded, I spent a weekend in Brazil, attending a big wedding
And after all that, returning to Switzerland for the summer felt strange. I have written extensively about this but there is a feeling of home here (I am not originally from here) but this feeling can get oppressive. There is an autonomous cultural push for conformity, friendliness, and comfort that starts to veer into forced hospitality over time. You notice it in the hard forced smiles of hostesses and service people. For this reason it pays to leave periodically. You forget that your waiter was mildly unfriendly to you (but with a smile) after some weeks of trying to cross the street in Mogadishu.
Zurich is one of the best places to spend the summer, if you know what you are doing. There are a few magical weeks when all the locals leave to either Portugal/Greece/Italy, the US, or Southeast Asia (depending on budget, FX rates, and current trends - Asia being slowly replaced by some Central American countries lately) for school vacation and you can have the city to yourself.
In my current confused state, I have found this to be a grounding ritual, which I intend to practice over the coming months - for spiritual healing.
Back when I didn’t have any money and only one friend (the friend part didn’t change), I established a summer routine of walking the city, swimming in the lake, having long drawn out coffees somewhere with a nice view, and finishing the day with a drink or two.
